Your 4 3/4-year-old: Discouraging tattling

Your 4 3/4-year-old: Discouraging tattling

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Your 4-year-old now

"Mary won't let me have a turn!" "John's climbing on top of the slide!" Children spot wrongdoing faster than Superman zeros in on a bad guy – and they're not shy about telling on the offenders.

Preschoolers may tattle out of a sense of righteousness. Or they may do it to get attention or make themselves look better in your eyes. Unfortunately, budding whistle-blowers don't understand how exasperating it can be for everyone involved.

Our parents' favorite motto, "I only want to hear about it if there's blood spilled," may seem callous. But the underlying message – try to work it out by yourself first – is just right for your child's development. Set some ground rules. You only want to hear a complaint about a playmate if someone's doing something truly dangerous. Realize, of course, that preschoolers aren't always able to make those distinctions. So if she's truly trying to protect someone (even if it's not dangerous by your standards), praise her for coming to you.

When the tattling is just that, don't punish the supposed wrongdoer. Your child's version of events may be a tad skewed, and you'll only reinforce the tattling habit. Obviously at four, your child isn't fully equipped to handle every conflict on her own. So step in, talk about it, work out some solutions together, and then back off. You'll gradually empower your child to try handling minor tussles on her own.

Your life now

Check the calendar to see if it's time to schedule a prekindergarten checkup, where your child will be evaluated for kindergarten readiness. Expect vision and hearing screenings, as well as a check for any other problems that might interfere with learning. Your child's immunizations will also need to be up-to-date before she can show up for the first day of school.

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Watch the video: The WCSD Safe and Healthy Schools Commission Meeting, 4 27 18 (November 2022).

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