I'm pregnant, but can't get my toddler out of my bed

I'm pregnant, but can't get my toddler out of my bed

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Bed-sharing was never something I set out to do. And yet here I am, sleeping alongside my 2-year-old while 20-something weeks pregnant.

No, this isn’t ideal; no, I never thought I’d find myself in this position. But when it comes down to a choice between well-rested or functioning as a zombie because my toddler won’t go back to sleep in her own bed, a parent’s gotta do what a parent’s gotta do.

See, my 2-year-old daughter’s nighttime sleep schedule looks something like this:

1. Lie down with Mom or Dad in a twin-sized bed until falling asleep.

2. Sleep until around 1 a.m.

3. Wake up, realize no one else is there, cry.

4. Crawl into bed with Mom and Dad.

Again, not ideal. But whatever; we've made it work.

Except now that I’m pregnant with baby number four, I have some concerns. Like: is my toddler going to kick the crap out of her unborn sibling in the middle of the night? How am I going to cope with tossing and turning all night long as my belly continues to grow and take up all available space?

Most of all, I’m worried what life will be like when the new baby is born. Bed-sharing with a toddler doesn’t exactly offer the best-quality sleep. Neither does getting up throughout the night with a newborn. And the combination sounds simply horrific, and I fear I shall be the definition of a mombie. I also wonder if the baby’s cries will keep our 2-year-old up all night, too.

Because we never ran into this problem when I was pregnant with kid number two or three, I decided to pick the brains of a couple of been-there-done-that mom acquaintances. Mom of two Julie Monfort found herself in a similar predicament when she was pregnant with her second child.

“Camden started sleeping with us at 1.5 yrs old, when I was about 6 months pregnant. We have a California king so there was plenty of room for my big belly, pregnancy pillow, him, my husband, and 2 dogs,” Monfort shared.

“I worried when Reagan was born that her waking up at night would wake him; it did not. He slept through her crying right next to him. He even went through a while where he’d wake up with night terrors and she slept through that! She stayed in our room until she was 8 months.”

Another mom of two, Makita Gulley, also bed-shared with a toddler when pregnant. “My daughter shared my bed throughout my pregnancy with my son,” she recalled. “And my son was in a Pack 'n' Play next to my bed when he was a newborn. Now they're both in my bed.”

It’s nice to hear that I’m not alone — and that others survived the ordeal. Maybe there is hope for sleep in my future, even if we’re still bed-sharing by the time #4 is here. In the meantime, here are some things we’ve done to make the best out of a less-than-ideal situation:

1) We recently upgraded our queen-sized bed to a king.

Now there’s actually enough room for my husband, our toddler, my body pillow, my pregnant belly, and the rest of me.

2) I strategically position my body pillow.

To soothe my fears about my toddler kicking my belly in the middle of the night, I use my body pillow as a shield: I hug the top of it and shove the bottom between my legs. So far, it's been working.

3) I’m trying not to worry too much about the newborn stage.

Those first few weeks with a newborn are going to be exhausting, no matter what. The best I can do if our toddler is still in bed with us is just roll with the punches — and hope that #4 is an awesome sleeper.

And who knows? Maybe our 2-year-old will magically start sleeping through the night in her own bed before January rolls around. We can only hope.

Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.

Watch the video: I Didnt Know I Was Pregnant - Its Not My Crohns Disease? (January 2023).

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