The peaceful family creates environments in which discussions take place, but this does not come to an end and does not become a way of life. Stating that emotional discharge is a need for the family and the individuals that make it up Acıbadem Fulya and Maslak Hospitals Psychiatry Specialist Dr. Kultur Ögel, “Insults, harsh criticism, attacks on personal rights and involving the child in the debate point out that the discussion is unhealthy, or he says. For example, environments where “A layıp and“ B tartışıl are discussed create a great turmoil for children who already have a difficult “cause-effect” relationship. Unfocused, disorganized, only arguments for superiority make it difficult for the child to understand what is happening. Children have concrete ideas. Therefore, they can accept the abstract concepts used in discussions. Since their abstraction skills have not yet developed, they tend to understand everything in plain form. For example, when you say, “You killed me, gerçekten he really thinks your wife killed you. He believes that when you complain, im I will go, then you will understand my value! Gerçekten.
It is becoming a form of communication…
“In families where the discussion is the way of life or communication, children establish their communication with other people throughout their lives in this way” warns Psychiatry Specialist. Dr. Kültgin Ögel continues: için For them, establishing relationships is only a matter of discussion, and the methods of problem solving go through just this way. Environments where violent debates are inflicting children's sense of safety and security in themselves and in life. As a result, the feeling of “something bad will happen başlıy begins to dominate their lives. Therefore, they are concerned that sorun something bad will happen ında every time they face a problem. Some of them feel responsible and guilty for their parents' arguments. For this reason, they always take care to be careful or quiet, and they always avoid revealing themselves throughout their lives. Because they fear that if they reveal themselves, there will be a violent debate. ”
Anxiety of every age is different
Psychiatry Specialist Dr. Ülte The parents' quarrel raises other concerns for children of all ages, K warns Kültgin Ögel: “For example, they fear that something will happen to them at an early age. In elementary school, they begin to blame themselves or fear that their parents will leave. After all, these ages constitute a period in which they fear everything. In adolescence, they have to become a party or start to develop an attitude towards their parents and isolate themselves from them. In older ages, adult children are now worried that something will happen to their parents. In the homes where the debate took place, Professor pointed out that children tend to escape from their parents. Dr. Ülte Then the parents start complaining that 'this child never wants to be with us' or 'why doesn't he come with us on vacation' or 'he never visits us'. Ülte
Don't ask him to arbitrate
“Children are human beings whose reasoning skills are not developed. Prof. Dr. Ülte What is our fear when we do not allow our child to go out on the street by himself? We fear that you cannot distinguish between right and wrong. But it is equally ridiculous to give the same child the role of arbitrator during our discussion. In addition, children cannot feel comfortable in school and concentrate on their lessons, just as the parents do not feel happy after the discussion. Because at that moment, they wonder what's going on in the house and what else will happen. Olup
Discuss with man
Psychiatry Specialist who draws attention to the fact that it is beneficial to avoid arguing next to it because it will affect the personality and school life of children negatively. Dr. Ülte Sometimes, however, this may not happen. In this case, care should be taken to argue with the man and the child should not be drawn into the discussion. Discussing in an environment where the child already exists can sometimes be a factor that prolongs the discussion. The mother and father, who are left on their own, can discuss more easily. In addition, the child watching themselves can become the object of discussion in a moment. Bilgilendir Inform the discussion. Psychiatry Specialist Dr. Kulturin Ogel, after the discussion, it is not right to treat your child as if nothing has been warned, “Because it raises concerns about leaving him with the unknown. Therefore, inform your child about the discussion after the discussion. Of course, 'your mother said so' or 'your father did so' is not in the form. The information should be in the form of 'We didn't agree with your mother on the following issues, we talked and agreed now' ”.