Baby Development

Protective parenting extinguishes children's motivation to discover

Protective parenting extinguishes children's motivation to discover

Every child is an explorer, and your duty as a parent is to satisfy your child's hunger for knowledge. Do you allow your child enough to make discoveries? Istanbul Parenting Class Development Specialist Psychologist Sinem Olcay Describes the impact of discovery on children.

How should we evaluate children's tendency to explore?

Anyone with the experience of caring for a baby or a 2-6 year old child can do a lot of things like getting dirty, smudging up their new washed hair, getting his brother's favorite toy or biting him, disappearing for a while to drain his hair shampoo into the toilet. knows the limits of patience. But think again. Do these behaviors indicate that your child is bad or an explorer? In the eyes of a child, the world is full of questions waiting for answers. What if I put yogurt in my hair? What's the most exciting part of this new toy? Maybe it tastes good. If I pour my mother's shampoo into the toilet, will it float, and if I flush it?

Why do children tend to discover?

Children need to experience something and be successful on their own. Every child is a brave explorer in the small world. Therefore, they are very curious about questioning and testing reality. No child who can afford to fall can learn to walk. No child who learns to make mistakes can learn to speak. No child who is not allowed to explore the environment can learn to enjoy the world.

All children need to learn by trial and error rather than by trial and error. Trying to explore and try means success in every circumstance because something has been learned during these trials. Each little discovery motivates your child to learn more until he becomes a full expert.

Doesn't children's need to explore conflict with protection instinct?

Your child's hunger for exploration is often blended with a fear of the strangeness of the alien situation that he is trying to discover. That's why children want you to be close by so that you can control and look after them during the discovery. Watching a 1-year-old boy discovering the world around him is like watching someone's movements tied to a long tire. He goes away to a certain distance, checks you in if you are there, makes a little more exploration, and then encounters something that he is afraid of, returns to your arms and then goes away again. Children make discoveries by pushing, throwing, examining, biting them with objects until they try everything to try with that object, and always control you. This is the case in every new situation. His strong desire to explore compete with his natural instinct for protection. Although some children are more adventurous than others, there are limits in which each child stops and retreats.

How should parents approach children's attempts to explore?

Some parents release their children in discovery attempts until they push the limits of security, and some parents are happy to do so, while others worry about their children's curiosity for discovery. Especially in modern society, we see that overprotection has become a parenting norm. Rather than letting the child discover for themselves, it's a much more common parenting practice where you can tell the result and show what happens. Fear is contagious, children can take their parents' worries and rasp their natural curiosity, often eliminating their self-confidence in discovery. However, children are eager to do something for themselves. In order to develop self-confidence, children need to see themselves as an active individual in the world they are in. When we consider the excitement of a child as he explores the world around him, a few abrasions and wounds that may occur during the discovery journey do not matter at all.

What does discovery teach a child?

By making discoveries, a child learns how pleasant it is to learn. Through discoveries, the child sees how smart, determined and sufficient he is to learn to trust. Also, by making discoveries, a child learns what he wants and how to get it. That means he's able to make himself happy.

What should we do to reinforce our children's motivation to explore?

Give your child the opportunity to experiment in as many environments as possible, unless it is dangerous. Let him play alone. Boost your child's learning experience by supporting him / her to do his / her own work, for example by allowing him / her to eat himself / herself as a child. Limit your intervention in exploration attempts. Support your creativity. For example, use pots as drums, let your child make music with spoons. Reduce your worries about getting dirty on or around, and don't even worry about it. As your child explores the limits of his mental and physical skills, take time to support him, so stand by and observe him. Appreciate your child's achievements. Recognize your efforts, praise even if it fails. When you encounter an accident, make your child feel that you understand him.

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