Psychology

Coping with a sense of inability in families!

Coping with a sense of inability in families!

Of course, every woman has some basic instincts about being a mother. Thanks to these, the mother naturally has the ability to handle the pregnancy and take care of her offspring after birth. However, on the one hand the excitement of bringing a child into the world, on the one hand hormonal changes and physiological difficulties in pregnancy, on the other hand concerns about the future and the bask pressure to be the best modern caused by modern life can undermine women's natural skills. For this reason, it is known that many women experience feelings of inadequacy starting with pregnancy and continuing during the first months of motherhood. This situation sometimes lasts longer and is accompanied by emotional disorders such as Sonrası Postpartum Sorrow ”and Sonrası Postpartum Depression. they are known to have experienced depressive thoughts.Who has more feelings of disability?Especially the mothers who brought their first baby to the world; Fears that individual life will no longer be the same, expectations that the relationship with the spouse will change negatively in many respects and concerns about the baby can be challenging. In addition, mothers who do not feel fully prepared to be a mother, who cannot see the skills to cope with a baby and who are very anxious experience more feelings of inadequacy. Pregnancy due to the stress conditions it is exposed to, the expectant mother can not be enough and good mother. Also; For women who have unrealistic expectations about themselves and who have high standards of motherhood, a sense of inadequacy is inevitable when they become mothers.Mothers who do not have milk or who have insufficient milk also experience the feeling of insufficiency more. Mothers who give birth by cesarean section and have physical problems after birth, again feel more inadequate and negative emotions can be in the situation. People compare what is inside themselves sometimes with how others look from the outside. When we are unhappy, we look at others and see them happy, successful, active, competent and good. Therefore, the new mother may feel more inadequate than other people. According to him, while everyone around him continued his life in a normal way, his life was turned upside down. This will make you feel even more unhappy, weak, unsuccessful and inadequate.Effects of Environment on Sense of DisabilityThe mother will need support in many respects immediately after pregnancy and childbirth. Receiving help from someone who is experienced and trustworthy in issues such as keeping, feeding, sleeping, and washing the baby; helps the mother feel a sense of trust and competence. Many mothers, especially those who gave birth to their first baby, think that their skills regarding the newborn baby are insufficient. It is expected that this idea of ​​the mother with the support she receives from her relatives will turn into dönüş I can orum and “competence” feelings. Even though he is in the chaos of being a father, he must support his wife as much as he can.What to do if you have a sense of disability?It would be very helpful if the mother receives psychological help to cope with the feeling of disability she has not been able to appoint for a long time. In the process of psychological help, first of all, the mother tries to create realistic expectations about herself. He is also a human being; individual needs such as being alone, listening to head, being with friends, having fun and these needs should be met. The mother who cannot gain this perspective will not get rid of the feeling of inadequacy. The risk is high for mothers who cannot leave their newborn baby for one hour a day, cannot trust anyone and depend on their baby. To get rid of the feeling of inability; it is necessary to intervene in social life as quickly as possible, to spend at least several hours a day apart from her baby, to protect some areas of her life before the baby, and to maintain the activities and relationships in which she feels well. Unhealthy dependence on the baby is not a condition that increases the sense of competence but rather undermines it. The relationship of the new mother to her own mother and the emotional needs that are not met in her childhood can sometimes prevent her from establishing a healthy relationship with her baby and connecting correctly. In such a case, psychological help provides a multi-faceted benefit. For this reason, occasional couple and family interviews will ensure that the mother's approval is recognized by those around her. It is wrong to give the young mother critical feedback such as tut hold the baby like that ”, man you will drop the child”, “you will catch the child İyi in good faith. The mother, who is exposed to these criticisms, tries to gain the ability to stop her and express her negative emotions correctly in such situations. By making weekly program; will be able to determine the steps that can be done in accordance with the aims and will be able to adjust the speed in accordance with these steps.