How should I tell my child about death?

How should I tell my child about death?

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The perception of death varies with age.Children's perception of death varies depending on their age. In the early years of childhood, death is not scary; it is a very ambiguous concept for them. Especially children under three years of age cannot comprehend death. At that age, children find death more frightening. As soon as children develop their language and expressions, they begin to deal with death and ask questions. The death of a family member and the death of domestic animals are triggers for these questions. Generally, the concept of death before the age of five is used without being fully understood. For three to four-year-olds, death can be a long separation or a long journey with no return. For example, when a four-year-old boy sees that his pet is dead, he might say, hayvan Oh, that animal is dead, ama but after a short time “I wonder when he will wake up. Abilir Four to five years of age usually perceive death as a condition of return. Children begin to perceive that death is something other than a long sleep. For them, death gradually becomes scary. They often ask their parents if they will die. In the face of these questions, if the parents say that death is a long sleep, the child may have difficulty in night's sleep. One of the most challenging questions for families is burial. Children wonder what is going on under the ground and ask questions about how they live here. Children who ask such questions have difficulty accepting that death is an end and an irreversible situation.
Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are adversely affecting tales.Children between 5 and 7 years begin to associate death with old age and disease. They often think that older people, who have whitened hair, will die soon and feel uncomfortable with this thought. The idea that children who have this negative idea cannot be awakened from prolonged sleep is dominant. The reasons for this thought may be the children's favorite Snow White and Sleeping Beauty tales. Because in these fairy tales, heroes can wake up alive from their long sleep. The evil heroes of fairy tales, stories and stories told to children always die. So death is for the wicked. Therefore, the child perceives death very far from himself.
Children between the ages of 5 and 7 make sense by embodying events. He believes that death is punishment, and that the punisher who punishes it is a god, a devil, or an angel. This attitude causes misunderstanding of the concept of God in some children. The child may have anxiety, fear and fear of a god who bothers him under all circumstances. When these children reach adulthood or adulthood, it is difficult to accept death even in the death of a family member. But it makes children feel better to tell them that the good will go to heaven.Children perceive death at the age of 10-12.Children usually begin to perceive death at the age of 10 to 12 years. There is also the fear of being alone in the preschool period under the children's fear of death. Because the death of one of the family members can cause problems in its care and meeting its needs. The expressions of the parents that support the fear of being alone trigger the fear further. For example, an If you misbehave, I will get sick and die, and you will be motherless. ”Thus, the child perceives death as a punishment for him.
The death of one family member is shocking and distressing for the whole family. Adults react with mourning to death. A certain period of loss of appetite, insomnia, crying spells, unhappiness, pessimism is experienced. The situation of children differs from that of adults. The child is also upset, but their reaction is more to share their suffering from being left in the middle. Mourning period is more limited in children. They react emotionally, intellectually and physically, but want to return to their normal lives. Some children try to be more alive than they are by ignoring death. This is the way the child denies death. They may react like this in unexpected deaths. Adopting the truth can lead to feelings that cannot be overcome. The most obvious of these is the anger towards the parent who leaves him in the middle.
The child should receive the news of death from the person he trusts.The parents who survive the death of the mother or father have a very heavy duty. Perhaps the heaviest of these tasks is to give the child the news of death. It is true that the child hears such news from the person who will feel safe. In unexpected deaths, young children should be accustomed to the news. Death should not be hidden from the child for a long time, but when the surviving mother or father has recovered, he or she should make a statement in accordance with the child's age. It is not right to remove the child who learns of death and to send him to another environment. Because children need to be together with family members and share the mourning period. However, it is very inconvenient that the child is found in the environment where the dead is being cleaned. In addition, showing the final state of the deceased and taking the child to the funeral may also have negative effects.
During the mourning period, the child should not give extreme reactions such as beatings and screams. It should be noted that the mourning reactions of children are different and they should not be blamed for not responding like adults. Children who do not want to talk about death should not be forced. During this period, the child should be informed that he / she is going through a difficult period together, that he / she will always be with him / her and that he / she can cry whenever he / she wants. Here, the life after the death of the mother or father becomes important. Who fills the mother's or father's cavity and the child's relationship with them is important for their psychological development.
You may need help from experts.No matter how well death is told to children, the death of one family member affects the whole family. Death is not an easy situation to accept. This process requires time and support. Generally, loss of parents in preschool period can cause mental problems or mental mismatches. During mourning, children may experience sleep problems, stuttering, lower soaking, nail eating, tics, aggression, eating problems, school failure, adjustment and behavioral disorders, and depression. In such cases, families should seek help from an expert.

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